I'm going to jail i love you
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
