I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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