So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
