never play flip cup with pint glasses
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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