Sry I called you an 8
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
