That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
