I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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