I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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