ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
