you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i think i just lost a toe
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
