The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
