You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
