i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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