that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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