I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize