...so i touched it.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
