I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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