Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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