Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
