If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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