The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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