I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
