that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
