I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
