He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize