I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i barfeds in our rink
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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