I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize