Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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