i just wanna soil my oats bro
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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