FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
