I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
