I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
