all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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