What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
