we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
