Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We had to coat check the pizza.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
