I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
