One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
