just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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