The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
