I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
