recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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