it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
