have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
