shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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