Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize