I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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