I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
