it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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