God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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