I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
