I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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