I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
