the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
