why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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