my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
