Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
