it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
