Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
