No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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