Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
