but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
