I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
